Friday, April 04, 2008

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Banana

On Wednesday, I arrived at work to find a very brown banana sitting on my chair. I wish I could say this was the first time this has happened, but sadly it is a recurring theme.

You may not know this about me, but I have leaky-banana-phobia. This means, much to my coworkers enjoyment, I make disgusted/upset noises when I find such bananas in my work area.

What exactly is leaky-banana-phobia? It's the fear of old bananas leaking gross juices. This means I also hate touching squishy bananas because I worry I'm going to touch a leaky spot. The smell even bothers me because it's a reminder it may leak at any point.

Wednesday morning I retaliate and put the banana in Martha's mug. She sees it when she gets in but is simply amused. Martha doesn't share my fear of horribly brown bananas.

Later that morning I decide to eat my normal, edible, banana. I ask Martha, "What's this yellow colour on my banana? I don't understand." She's sad I mock her banana. We continue to discuss the differences until I eat mine and throw the peel into the garbage by her desk. I missed, and it ended up landing on her work papers before falling down into the garbage.

HA, she may not fear the banana juices, but she sure doesn't like having them all over her work. She wipes it off the best she can then decides to throw her disgusting banana into the garbage can by me. She doesn't miss thankfully.

I don't exactly know why, but I decide I want to continue looking at the gross banana throughout the day, so we end up putting the banana on the edge of the garbage.

Later that day my boss comes by and notices the garbage and asks "What is that?" I respond, "It's a banana, feel free to poke it". He looks confused/intrigued and proceeds to stab it with his pen.

As Martha is leaving for the day, she examines the banana a bit further.

She realizes just how disgusting this banana is and states "I can't believe I debated eating that banana this morning".


Martha then heads home and I reclaim the upper hand. I'm not ready for this banana to die. I pick it off the garbage and put it on her keyboard.

No, I can't do it. I felt there was a 50/50 chance the banana would start leaking all over her keyboard, and as much as my coworkers hope one day a banana will leak onto my keyboard, I just couldn't do it.

If you're having difficulty finding the banana in this picture, it's because it's so black it's camouflaged with the stapler. Look for the green grape.

Thursday morning Martha is in disbelief that the banana is still around. She then throws it hard into the garbage can and it lands with a thud.

As much as the thought of the leaky banana disgusted me, I couldn't help but look. I guess it's the same concept as a headless dead rat. You don't want to look, but you can't help but wonder just how much more disgusting it looks the next day you walk by it.


Thursday, April 03, 2008


So long have I searched for a way to express how important charity is to me. I can now rest easy, as my views will live on through my DIY Demotivator.